Hi, I'm Maddie's Mom

As the title of this WAY overdue post indicates, Maddie has arrived! She has actually been here for three months, but as my priority is now being her mom, things like typing up blog posts have taken the back seat. So let me fill you in on some particulars:

August 21^st, 2012 at 8:16pm Madelyn Nicole Mercer arrived weighing in at 8lbs 5oz and measuring 20.75 inches long. From the time my water broke (at work!) to this very moment, nothing has gone the way that I thought it would, but it has all been perfect.

Madelyn

Our Family

Jason and Maddie

 By the end of my pregnancy I had gained roughly 50 pounds and was ready to pop. I don’t know the exact weight gained because after the 50 pound mark I stopped stepping on a scale, which was about two weeks before Maddie came. Those of you who saw me the last two weeks can make your own guesses as to how much more I put on, but I’m sticking with 50! I have always wondered which is harder, giving birth or running a marathon, and I now have an answer: It depends on whether or not you get an epidural! I really wanted to have a natural labor, and was determined to make it through the contractions as we headed into the hospital after my water broke. I had proclaimed previously to anyone that would listen that I could survive anything that I knew would come to an end. What I am sure now all mothers before me heard was “I am an idiot that has no idea what she is saying, please smile and pretend I’m not making a fool of myself as I say this because I just don’t know any better.” Thank you, mothers everywhere, for being nice to me when I said such silly things!

After receiving the epidural I was a happy girl! I won’t go into the details of the actual birth, but following a few short pain free hours (thanks to the wonderful needle in my back) it was time to push, and push I did. You see, this all happened on the 21^st, and my birthday is the 22^nd, and I really wanted Maddie to have her own day … so I pushed! While the first words out of Jason’s mouth when he saw her were “she’s perfect!” the first thing I said when they put her on my chest and I saw my baby girl for the first time was “She’s HUGE!!!!” And my life has been forever changed.

Maddie and Me

The next two weeks were a blur. There was very little distinction between days and nights, and I questioned why people ever decide to have more than one of these crying/pooping/eating/sleep stealing machines. After week two we started to feel like there was some hope of sleep again in the near future, and I began to crave some form of exercise as I finally had some energy to spare. At 3½  weeks post partum, I went on my first 1 mile run. It was not pretty, but I was so happy to be moving that I didn’t care how horribly slow and out of shape I was. When I got back to the house Jason was standing outside with a screaming and hungry Maddie; apparently she was not a fan of my little jaunt down the street! As the weeks went on I tried to squeeze in 1-2 mile runs whenever possible and Maddie became more and more willing to allow my brief absences without causing a scene.

The next 4 weeks my anxiety began building, and I started feeling trapped. Maddie developed colic around week 2, and would consistently cry (read as all out scream and shake her little fists) inconsolably for the better part of 2-4 hours somewhere between 7pm and 2am every night. I felt helpless throwing myself at this little person who was sucking me dry (both physically and emotionally) without giving me anything in return. People would ask me, “Are you getting the hang of things being a new mom? Do you know what she needs now that it’s been a few weeks?” The honest answer was “No! I have no clue what I am doing! I am winging this entire thing and praying she doesn’t remember any of it because I am sure that I am doing it all wrong!” But of course I would smile and say something vague and positive sounding; I couldn’t have people thinking I was crazy!

Then one day it all changed … Maddie smiled!!! At ME!!!! It was not gas (yes, they trick you into thinking they are smiling at you, then they let it rip) it was a true smile, and it was all for me. In that one little look of happiness she stole my heart. I no longer felt helplessly trapped, for the first time, I felt like her mom.

Maddie's first smile!

It has not all been sunshine, flowers and rainbows since then, but it has been good. I’m not sure if it was my attitude change, Maddie growing out of her colic (thank you Zantac!), or a little bit of both; but 6 weeks was a turning point in the Mercer house. She shows more and more personality every day, and has recently begun to laugh, which just melts my heart every time! Our furry babies are doing well, and have accepted her as part of the pack (thank goodness!). Roxie and Reese get very upset if I don’t lower Maddie’s car seat down to their height so that they can greet her when we all get home in the evening.

Mercer Girls

Maddie and Reese

Roxie and Maddie

                                   

As far as running goes, I am pleased. I usually strive to run 4-6 miles, 4-5 times per week. I’d love to get up to a 10 mile long run by the end of the year, and then start incorporating some speed work as well. Fortunately for me, Maddie LOVES the jogging stroller! She usually stays wide awake and looks around at the trees as they pass for the first few miles, then drifts off to sleep. Tentative running goals for 2013 include running the Disney Princess Half Marathon in February with my cousin, Laura, racing a half marathon sometime late spring in hopes of setting a new PR, then in October I will attempt for the third time to reach my goal of running a sub 3 hour marathon. A lot can happen between now and then, but I like having goals, so there they are.

Maddie and I after a run

Since having Maddie I have thought a lot about my dad. He was extremely involved with my running (and life), and I know he would have been an amazing grandpa. When I was in high school, at cross country and track events he would walk around and introduce himself to people as “Stacy’s Dad.” He never started with his name; the identity he was proud to proclaim was that he was my dad. I will never forget that, and I understand now what he was really saying. He was saying, “I love my daughter more than myself.”

So, with that said, my big goals for 2013 and on are:

To be Jason’s wife, and Maddie’s mom.

Happy Living!